The Franchise Status
Seven Jurassic films so far, including the Park trilogy and the World quadrilogy.
- Jurassic World is fine. Not life-changing but acceptable.
- Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is excellent. Never receives adequate credit.
- The last installment, Jurassic World: Dominion, was terrible. Almost no redeeming qualities. Colossally uninspired.
- Rebirth is also un-good.
Re-extinction Repackaged
Dinosaurs occupy a narrow equatorial band – the only place on Earth still capable of sustaining them. Re-extinction is imminent.
This info is central and uncompelling, but repeated several times. As if that’s all the story really is. As if this vague environmental pressure somehow provides a dramatic engine. It doesn’t.
The glorification of the majesty of dinosaurs? Tiresome at best.
Characters say drop-plotty clunkers like:
“It’s a flying carnivore the size of an F16!”
Redundance. Comparing a fake dinosaur to a military aircraft I’m vaguely familiar with. Too much in-moment math for this brain. That doesn’t feel like something a museum curator would say.
How about:
“It’s gonna eat your head, girl!”
Some Praise, Briefly
Rebirth is effective in creating raw tension. The material is unelevated—though slightly more so than the previous incarnation. Still, the story feels cheap. Thin. Disposable.
The Real Problem
This outlines everything wrong with Hollywood nowadays.
The deformed and unevolved IP reflects a good idea that has run its course.
The writing lacks quality and takes a firm anti-humanity stance.
It continues its misguided recent trend: still the feeble attempt to unearth a sociopolitical undercurrent. Dinosaurs are dying and whose fault is it? Humans. And their love of climate change.
Plot mechanics feel tired and predictable.
The Cold Open
Best part of the film. Despite being equally thin.
A Snickers bar wrapper (CGI) flutters free from a technician’s grasp. Animated trash which gets sucked into a door-based ventilation intake. This action triggers CGI smoke and sparks, causing the door-shutting mechanism to malfunction.
This resembles Final Destination: Bloodlines, which uses the same storytelling technique. A CGI object triggers an unclear mechanical malfunction that the audience must simply accept.
Why would an air intake system intersect with the electrical circuit of a door shut mechanism? Does the intake power the pneumatic system that drives the doors’ self-closing function? Then an electrical system shouldn’t short. If it’s actually a door-based component of the HVAC, the intake operates at an excessively high level.
This is BAD WRITING, proverbial reader. An animated bandaid.
Not clever product placement. LAZY FILMMAKING.
Releasing this candy wrapper has dire consequences. A monstrosity emerges. Due to…what exactly? The folly or unprofessionalism of this dino-scientist? This mutation testing facility conducts morally ambiguous experiments. So part of the evil zookeeping society grows too greedy to avoid candy bars in his radiation suit? Or is he so careless that he litters in a sterile laboratory, thus leading to the release of an evil dino mutant?
Thus Dr. Frankenstein is killed by his own monster. We’re not supposed to sympathize with their not-so-tragic fate.
Or are we?
This plot element will come back into play exactly when the audience expects. Unleashing havoc on the organic Earth beings.
Because they’re conducting tests, you see. The vile human race. Those lousy SOBs can’t help but mutate what is already unnatural. Could you resist such temptation? I can’t. I mutate every rabid dog and serial killer I meet.
So…what?
The problem is, there is no weight to this.
An evil zookeeper accidentally unleashes a monster. And it’s not helpful to the main characters.
Insert Diversity Here
A Spanish family joins our predicament – a dad and three kids. They jam into the story alongside the main crew. One of the kids, a teenager named Xavier, bears a Puerto Rican name that many mispronounce. This mispronunciation runs rampant throughout.
If these characters were from Puerto Rico, as the dialogue implies, they would pronounce it correctly.
This Hispanic family distracts from the development of the main plot. They serve as a weak device, like Dinostein’s Monster, meant to inject culture without any substantial knowledge of the actual culture they represent.
Some writer looked at a map of Gulf islands & a list of local names, decided this is how to resolve the glaring lack of Spanish speakers in the main cast.
Performance in Spite of It All
Scarlett delivers a seamless performance in her poorly written role. Always a proficient technician. This is a true career actress, retaining a level of professionalism even when working for the paycheck. Nonetheless it is not a believable performance.
Her character feels as artificial as the remaining cast.
But her main superpower?
Awareness of events from the film she didn’t participate in.
One particular moment: An interaction separate from her. A character’s actions suddenly come into question for no significant reason. There is no cause to suspect foul play.
And yet – when her new adversary reveals a shaky moral code, Scarlett responds with:
“I knew it!”
But the question remains: How?
I’ve been thinking about it and have come up with the answer:
Scarlett Johansson is God along the Jurassic equator.
Such a bold narrative choice! Count me in for another trilogy.
★★
For briefer thoughts: IMDb & Letterboxd.






